October 10, 2012

• A Goodbye post

  While at work on Thursday, my Dad called me to tell me that my grandma was sick. Her kidneys were giving up on her and she was too weak for another dialysis treatment. When he first told me, I didn’t want to take it too seriously. My grandma’s been known to cheat death many times before. Dad was certain that her days were numbered though. The doctors told my Dad that she had about a week left.

  I told my manager to prepare for me to take a few days off this week, if my grandma would pass away. I talked to Dad the next day and he told me that she was a little more alert than the day before, but really only wanted to sleep. They put her on oxygen because she was having trouble breathing. She had no idea what was wrong with her and assumed she had a touch of the flu.

  I went to see her on Saturday. I knew it was going to be the last time I’d see grandma because the doctors were now saying that she had three days left. I spent most of the day sitting next to her. She was sleeping the entire day. Every now and again, she would open her eyes for a few seconds, but she’d fall right back to sleep. My uncle assured me that she was aware of what was going on around her though. Hours later, when I had to leave to go back home (I live an hour away), I told my sleeping grandmother that I had to leave and that I love her very much. As I was walking away, she lifted her head and her eyes were wide open. I didn’t see her lift her head, but my aunt did. So I quickly went back over to grandma to tell her goodbye again, but she started to fall asleep. I didn’t want to leave her. Not at all.

  When I got home, my wife was waiting for me. I told her what was going on and she gave me a hug. I went the entire day without crying, but when Tesia hugged me, I couldn’t control myself. Not that I should. Tesia told me we could go back and see her on Sunday after church. That made me happy because I’d see her one more time.

  Sunday morning at around 9 o’clock, Dad sent me a text asking me to call him. He knows that since I work in a church it would be hard to get a hold of me on Sundays, but it just so happened to be in between services. I gave him a call knowing what I was going to hear. Grandma had passed away around 5 o’clock in the morning. She was 80 years old.

  Honestly, this was the best thing for grandma. She’s had terrible arthritis ever since I’ve known her. She’s had multiple massive heart attacks (four, I believe), a quadruple bypass, a series of mini strokes, and she’s been on and off dialysis for the past few years. My grandfather passed away four years ago this November, and I thought for certain that she’d be soon behind him. To my surprise, she stayed with us almost another four years. Over those four years, because of all her health problems, along with her frail body, we had to move her to a nursing home, which she hated. She just wanted to be comfortable in her own home. I understand that. The family understands that, but it just got too difficult after she’d fallen and broken her hip on multiple occasions. My only hope is that we didn’t make her feel abandoned in her last couple years. I’m sure she understands now.

  Grandma’s viewing is today. Her funeral is tomorrow. It’s going to be hard to say goodbye, but this goodbye isn’t forever.

  • 12:18 pm
  • 23 Comments